Getting Freaky

freak - [freek] - noun Slang.
..>
a.
a person who has withdrawn from normal, rational behavior and activities to pursue one interest or obsession: a drug freak. ..>
..>
b.
a devoted fan or follower; enthusiast: a baseball freak. ..>
..>
c.
a hippie..>

It occured to me one day that I really don't know what a freak is anymore. Nowadays it seems that everyone is a freak and proud of it. That's a long way from the 60's when a freak was something to watch out for and shoot on first sight. "Damn hippie freaks!"

Because I am somewhat confused at today's definition of a freak, I thought I'd take it for a test spin at a party. What better place to define today's freak than with a bunch of drunks. The way I see it, it's pretty important to know that if someone calls me a freak, I should know how to properly react: compliment? blush and say "Gee thanks. I've really worked hard at my freakiness" or insult? "you muthahscratcher, get your freaky fingers outa my freaky face or I'll freaky-deaky on your sorry freak face"

The consensus is that there are 3 main categories of freaks: public with their freakiness, private freaky and in the closet wanna-be's who are scared to live up to their freaky tendencies. Generally the freak was stereotyped (sorry if I insult any of you freaks out there) as an eccentric, extreme weirdo who is so completely out there and non-conforming that it borders on psychotic. The public freaks are generally proud of it and can be anything from geniuses (music, religion, science....Marilyn Manson or Albert Einstein anyone?) to rednecks to sports addicts to gear heads. These are the guys who step up to the plate and scream, "yeah baby, I'm a freak, what about you? wanna get freaky?"

The private freaks are the most interesting to explore. I always thought it was the quiet ones that are the most dangerous, or in this case, freaky. But my mind was quickly convinced otherwise. After a couple mojitos, that were freaky in their own right with just enough simple sugar to make your toes curl and voice soprano, our group decided, in our wisdom of the found moment, that the private freaks were a bit of a waste since they weren't particularly productive with their freakiness. What the good is being a freak if you don't do anything with it?

In-the-closet freaks are the most difficult to detect. Because they are scared of their secret freaky powers, many times these folks are left untapped except by the brave. Be prepared to have the freakiness spring on you at any given point in time, coming out of absolutely nowhere. My gut is that when that levvy breaks, holy shit, run for the hills.

Unanswered questions: Is there such a thing as a "good freak?" Just because a person is extreme by nature, is that person a freak? What if someone says "are you a freak?" What do they mean by that? And how do you answer that question honestly?

So we never got to the end of the question of establishing today's freak as a baseline. But I am convinced that was only round one to get the old wheels turning. The next party will expose the true freak of today. How exciting.

Created: Febraury 26, 2007