So the 'ole big brother decided to send me to charm school...which is code for "leadership development". In my world, that just means hell. This will be the blog of the experience as it develops including a little pre-information to gitcha' on my wave length.
Preparing to enter the thorny gates of hell
In order to enter this frigid place, one must take 3 personality tests, have the big computer crunch that information along with the survey results that 15 of my closest colleagues, completed purely on their one-sided impression of me. Like I care. I is what I is. Somehow, over the course of several weeks, the computer will magically come up with some great answer to my personality ....like I don't know after living with me, myself and I for 38 years. Me and I sometimes have issues with each other, but Myself and I seem to get along great and when the three of us are together we have a party. So, I'm not quite sure why the three of us must attend this training. Oh well. Hell is expecting me early so stay tuned......
Having Been through Hell and Survived
My intention was to blog the entire charming experience. However, my captors had me tied, bound and hidden away from society torturing me with meditation and hallucinations until I promised not to tell all of the top secret activities, aka torture techniques. Apparently the boss man mislabeled the week to me. Instead of being leadership training it was self-awareness un-development and getting broken and beaten down until my bare ugly skeltons were exposed...bones shaking, teeth rattling and an incessant need to cry and curl up in a fetal position. This was Monday and Tuesday.
On Tuesday they sent us to our rooms to do our homework, eat dinner together, take a bath with our rubber duckies and go to bed. Wednesday begins the build up and programming to be a self-aware person and to act "purposefully". So I am now "purposefully" telling you that my "purpose" of writing this is to tell you that if you are prepared for hell you may actually end up getting a slice of an adapted and nervous nirvana, complete with strange out-of-body hallucination and all. Pretty cool stuff.
Break on Through to the Other Side
Thursday is the deciphering phase of understanding what it means to be a ENTP and on the fence between an "I" and "E" and why that's a good thing. Finally I know why I prefer the word "ambiguous" over "vague" and have learned that, when used improperly, I have a potentially lethal combination of high exhibition, low harmavoidance and high impulsivity. Ahhhhh, the powers we possess. That splashed with a high dose of playfulness and autonomy, I'll be damned if I didn't think that the end result was to trash my current profession and be a self-employed stripper. Unfortunately they leave you hanging on all of that.
I have seen 4 executive men cry, a woman full of attitude, confidence and strength broken down in to a crying machine (boy, when that levy broke, it was Katrina all over again), viewed the inner tickings of the inside of my soul and have met and partied with my worst demons.
Now that we are friends, I believe that my demons and I will co-habitate in a common understanding and under a common purpose. The Debra-party is no longer me, myself and I but also proud to add "fear, anger, disappointment, strength, responsibility and independence" to the collection splashed with a little "don't be ridiculous". Please no gifts, but if you insist I am registered at Home Depot.
Created: December 8, 2006
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